(sigh) I wish this would be a boring update about my car or just a compilation of Caesar photos, but it’s not. It’s the story of being laid off, the story of immigration paperwork, and ultimately a story without a conclusion. But I’ve put off this update long enough, so it’ll have to do for now.
In this update, I’ll cover:
- what has (and has not) happened over the last few months
- what’s possibly next
- celebration of those who’ve been so supportive
- my bad art and conclusion
Lettuce begin.
What happened since we spoke last
February
While on the flight home from a weekend in Melbourne, I wrote part of what was then a monthly update – something about how the US Men’s Hockey team winning gold might have ruined my love of professional hockey like COVID killed my love of college football – but I didn’t finish before we landed.
Knowing I’d be busy when I got back on the ground, I set a reminder to polish and publish on March 21st and call it a February/March/’every six weeks’ type of update.
March
On March 15th, I was among the 1,600 people laid off from my work. What followed was a blizzard of union meetings, emails with HR reps, contract details, immigration consultations, and – when I had time to ignore all of that – coping.
At this point, I was still hopeful about my immigration status. “Once that settles,”, I told myself. “Then, I’ll update my blog.”
April
I spent April waiting. At the beginning, it was pretty cruisey: like any good tech person, I made an app, spent some quality time with Caesar, and made sure to keep going to the gym. Throughout, I annoyed the immigration lawyers by repeatedly asking for any updates (they had none).
By the end of the month, my trajectory began to fade: I was sleeping about four hours a night with panic attacks and crying fits (sometimes in public); I stopped buying consumables when I ran out, and didn’t leave my house for five days at a time. I waited for the email to come that said I’d been saved and all of my worry was for naught, but on April 30th, the inevitable happened.
May
Much to my chagrin, it took three weeks for immigration to process the update. Those three weeks were full of misguided optimism: maybe I’d fallen into a hole in the system or maybe waiting 14 months and having made it so far had saved me. Maybe I’d get PR based on a clerical error.
Alas, at the end of the month, the bell tolled for me. The residency towards which I have pushed towards for literal years now ended with an email: “Without this nomination, your application cannot proceed.”
Next steps
It’s only been a few days, and – I’ll be honest – I’m still not great, but I’m trying to replace the bad feelings with pragmatism. I have a plan of attack, but my outlook swings between “All I can do is try” and having to stop making dinner to have a quick cry, with the midpoint being closer to the latter.
My best option is to find a job that will sponsor a working visa, but this is both unlikely and out of my hands. Checking that box on an application almost ensures that my information goes straight into the circular file, and while my smaller but much more connected Australian tech network might come through clutch, counting on it feels too passive.
So what can I do right now? Well, I qualify for a 190 state-sponsored visa as a “Technical Writer” – but I can only do this in Victoria and it’s a competitive process. I have some things going for me: I have 6 years Australian work experience, a relevant degree, and a high-level of English proficiency (which I’ll have to take a test to prove). But Technical Writer isn’t on any states’ list of high-demand jobs which means that there’s far more deserving candidates than me. It’s not impossible, as others online in similar positions have gotten nominations, but I also know what the Survivorship bias is.
The several immigration agents to whom I’ve spoken think this plan makes sense, although most agree it’s a gamble. But you play the cards your dealt, and sometimes you gotta try to win with a pair of 9s so…
If this fails, then maybe I do what every other millennial is doing and go to graduate school. Maybe I’ll become a carpenter (which is surprisingly in high demand here). Maybe I’ll be okay with going back to the States in a year. As much as I hate unsolvable questions, I just don’t know where I’ll be in a year.
In the meantime, I’m putting together the groundwork for a visa application and a move to Victoria, which I guess will probably be the subject of my next update.
The people who help me get by
As a way to balance out all of the stress and uncertainty, I want to showcase the people who’ve made the last few months tolerable. The people with whom I’ve gone on day trips, cried with, and have answered my panicked phone calls. These are the people who remind me that while I live in my own little world that’s becoming turbulent, there’s a reason why I want to stay.
bad art and closing thoughts
To close this out, I’ll share one of the few regular things I create: a playlist and a unexpectedly moody (but fitting) ‘album cover’. If you’re curious what weird songs have been forever ruined by their association to this period in my life, behold my first playlist of 2026: quagmire.
Link to the playlist on Apple Music
Hopefully, next time is a lighter update. Until then, fuck it we ball.